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John Senden Will Win The FedEx Cup, and Tom Delay Will Win Dancing With The Stars, and Here’s How
Written By: Sam 'Bogey' Johnson on Sep 22 2009
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Several years ago I wrote a book that no one read. A passage in that book referenced a memory test that went something like this:  “Let’s give it a try, okay?  Just for fun?  Here goes.”  With his yellow pad in hand, Doctor Ferguson read each number precisely. “1, 7, 21, 28, 57, 2, 9, 6, 15, 47, 3, 15, 18, 33, 69, 4, 43, 1, 44, 161, 5, 3, 7, 10, 25, 6, 3, 22, 25, 56.  Okay, it’s your turn.”

Timothy smiled when he realized that Doctor’s test was ripped-off from a PBS special he had heard repeated at least thirty times.  It was a trick. “I think this is right: 1, 7, 21, 28, 57, 2, 9, 6, 15, 47, 3, 15, 18, 33, 69, 4, 43, 1, 44, 161, 5, 3, 7, 10, 25, 6, 3, 22, 25, 56.” Timothy felt guilty that he was not telling the doctor that his test was tainted.  “I have to tell you that I’ve heard this test on public television many times.  It’s a trick.  All you have to do is remember that every fifth number is total of the previous four.  The second and third number of each sequence added together equals the fourth number, and obviously the first number of each of the five number sequences is one through six.”

Here’s Tim Finchem’s rewrite of the passage in my novel: If No. 1 TIGER WOODS wins he is guaranteed to win FedExCup as are STEVE STRICKER , JIM FURYK , ZACH JOHNSON and HEATH SLOCUM.  If No. 6 PADRAIG HARRINGTON wins Tiger Woods must finish third or worse.

Then the plot thickens; If No. 7 SEAN O'HAIR wins Tiger Woods must finish third or worse; Steve Stricker must finish third or worse. If No. 8 SCOTT VERPLANK wins Tiger Woods must finish fourth or worse; Steve Stricker must finish third or worse. Verplank will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes third, or if Jim Furyk finishes second. If No. 9 KENNY PERRY wins Tiger Woods must finish fourth or worse; Steve Stricker must finish third or worse; Jim Furyk must finish third or worse. Perry will be tied for first if Zach Johnson finishes second. If No. 10 JASON DUFNER wins Tiger Woods must finish fifth or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fourth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish third or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse. Dufner will be tied for first if Heath Slocum finishes second.

Clear so far?

Okay, if No. 11 DUSTIN JOHNSON wins Tiger Woods must finish seventh or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse. On the other hand, if No. 12 NICK WATNEY wins Tiger Woods must finish seventh or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse.

Still, if No. 13 GEOFF OGILVY wins Tiger Woods must finish eighth or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse. Now, if No. 14 PHIL MICKELSON wins Tiger Woods must finish ninth or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse.

What happens if No. 15 RETIEF GOOSEN wins? Well, Tiger Woods must finish 10th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Goosen will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes ninth, or if Padraig Harrington finishes second. Not to worry, because if No. 16 MARC LEISHMAN wins Tiger Woods must finish 10th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse.

It could happen that No. 17 BRIAN GAY wins, then Tiger Woods must finish 11th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Then again if, No. 18 KEVIN NA wins Tiger Woods must finish 12th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse.

It’s possible that No. 19 DAVID TOMS could win, which would mean that Tiger Woods must finish 13th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse.

Okay, all of this seems unlikely, but you never know. If No. 20 LUCAS GLOVER could somehow win, then Tiger Woods must finish 13th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish fifth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish third or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse.

Obviously the odds are long, but if No. 21 Y.E. YANG wins Tiger Woods must finish 14th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish sixth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Yang will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 13th, or if Steve Stricker finishes fifth, or if Zach Johnson finishes third.

Now, if No. 22 ERNIE ELS wins Tiger Woods must finish 14th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish sixth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse.
Granted, it is hard to imagine, but if No. 23 HUNTER MAHAN wins Tiger Woods must finish 16th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish sixth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Mahan will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 15th. However I think No. 24 ANGEL CABRERA could actually win, which means that Tiger Woods must finish 18th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish sixth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Cabrera will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 17th.

I know it seems unlikely, but what if No. 25 STEVE MARINO wins Tiger Woods must finish 20th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish sixth or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fourth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Marino will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 19th. Which begs the question if No. 26 STEWART CINK wins Tiger Woods must finish 22nd or worse; Steve Stricker must finish seventh or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fifth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Cink will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 21st, or if Steve Stricker finishes 6th, or if Jim Furyk finishes 4th.

So, what happen if No. 27 MIKE WEIR wins? Well, Tiger Woods must then finish 24th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish seventh or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fifth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Weir will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 23rd.

Sure it is hard to imagine, but if No. 28 LUKE DONALD wins Tiger Woods must finish 26th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish seventh or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fifth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Donald will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 25th.

Sure he needs a lot of help, but if No. 29 JERRY KELLY wins, then Tiger Woods must finish 28th or worse; Steve Stricker must finish seventh or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fifth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Kelly will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 27th.

If hope springs eternal, and all things are possible, then No. 30 JOHN SENDEN could win to do this Tiger Woods must finish 30th; Steve Stricker must finish seventh or worse; Jim Furyk must finish fifth or worse; Zach Johnson must finish fourth or worse; Heath Slocum must finish third or worse; Padraig Harrington must finish third or worse. Senden will be tied for first if Tiger Woods finishes 29th.

After reading all of the scenarios and possible combinations you will notice that the name Tiger Woods leads each. In other words, John Senden has a shot to win if Tiger gets hit by a bus. On the other hand, what if the other 29 players got creative and chipped in $50,000 each and paid Tiger $1,450,000 not to show up? This could work for everyone. Tiger gets a fat check, an additional week of rest and could probably get another million or so from the TV network for commentary. Then John Senden and Tom Delay only need an outbreak of the swine flu to win.

Cough… Cough…




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Comments

 

Cathy Erickson said:

Math nerds all over the world have made you blogger of the week!

Of course you're always my favorite blogger of the week.

How do people get their hands on the book you wrote?

September 25, 2009 7:36 AM
 

Sam 'Bogey' Johnson said:

Thanks for asking about the book, however it was never published and trust me we are all better off for it. If you are determined to punish yourself, send your email address (in a plain brown wrapper) to sam@tees2greens.com and I'll send you a copy.

September 28, 2009 9:49 AM

About Sam 'Bogey' Johnson

Sam Johnson is the Executive Editor of Tees2Greens and an avid supporter, and a so-so player of the great game of golf. However, under no circumstance should you accept a golf tip from him.

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