Tees2Greens on Golf

October 2009 - Posts

• The World’s Longest Golf Course Deserves The World’s Longest Golf Outing

  Like my home state of Texas, Australians have a reputation for outrageousness among other things, but what would you expect from a country founded by escaped prisoners. From a country that gave us the Great White Shark and Greg Norman, it is all together fitting that they have created the world’s longest golf course. How long? From the first tee to the clubhouse at 18 is 850 miles, or 1,365 kilometers for you international types. It begins in Kalgoorlie in Western Australia and finishes up in Ceduna in South Australia. The fairways are natural desert terrain, and all but five greens are synthetic, but there are 18 of them and it takes about 4-days to play. Hazards include kangaroos, dingoes, wombats, emus, death adders, Russell Crowe and other snakes. For those of you about to phone Qantas and make a reservation, you should know that scorecards are available at Norseman Visitor’s Information Centre 68 Roberts St Ph 90391071 and all roadhouses along the Eyre Highway. You can play your first two holes and have your card stamped by the staff at the visitor’s center. Play each subsequent hole and have your card stamped at the roadhouse or in the case of Norseman at the Visitor Center. Use the Caltex Service Station at Penong. You will need to present your completed score card at either Ceduna or Kalgoorlie (the course can be played in either direction) and you will be presented with a certificate stating that “You have played the World’s Longest Golf course.” The certificate is free, however you must have your scorecard stamped at all the holes, which, as I figure is about $10,000 in airfare and ground transportation. Not to fret, hire clubs (rented to you and me) are available at each stamping point and cost only $5, however a bond will be required. The cost of Scorecard: $50.00 Aus. There is no penalty for slow play because the average duration of the round is approximately 4 days depending how quickly you want to play. A week is acceptable, however a month-long round may raise an eyebrow or two in the clubhouse and will require that a thousand gallon water tank be attached to your golf bag. If you would you like to become an inaugural member of the longest golf course in the world (and why wouldn’t you?) you can purchase a Foundation Membership. Your very own special number will be allocated and will remain with you forever, which as we all know is a long time. The club's logo will be yours on a specially designed polo shirt and cap for you to wear with pride. A commemorative certificate will be issued with your name and number. Interested? Be quick, this offer is said to be limited to the first one thousand members, however if another 100,000 of you decide to send money they might consider expanding the membership. But I digress. The bottom-line is that for $200 Australian plus $15 Australian postage and handling ($30 Australian postage and handling for orders from outside Australia) you can be a Foundation Member. For you purists, I regret to inform you that you have missed the opening celebrations and dinner in Ceduna on Thursday 22nd October at 6:30 pm. In addition, you have also missed the “BP Australia Opening Tournament” that commenced the same day with a tee off at 3:30 pm and concluded in Kalgoorlie on Monday 26th. The Closing Dinner was at Kalgoorlie’s Historical Town Hall on Tuesday 27th October 2009 commencing at 7:30 pm and you missed that as well. But what I’m upset about is the following statement from their website: The project committee is interested in placing 5 media personnel on the official bus to be part of this historic event. Please register your interest by email. The Eyre Highway Operators Association welcomes BP Australia into our family of Partners. I can’t believe I missed it. I’m sure that T2G management would have gladly paid my expenses. What say we put another shrimp on the barbie and put together our own road trip for next year? Or everyone can send me a dollar and I’ll write a first-hand report. Don’t delay! You can be a Founding Member of The Sam “Bogey” Johnson Send Me A Dollar Club. Act now. This offer is limited to the first 5,000,000 people who send untraceable cash. No postdated checks please.   Posted Oct 27 2009, 10:05 AM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, Ceduna, Kalgoorlie

• Confessions of a Baby Boomer Golfer

  A while back I wrote an article titled “A Guide to Baby Boomer Golf.” At the heart of the article were seven great golf tips intended to help old guys and slackers like me achieve golf respectability without practicing or working out.  If you recall, I explained that I wanted to shoot a respectable sub-90 round without practicing and only playing once a month. I went on to talk about not being able to find the time to play several times a week and practice another once or twice.  I punctuated my point by noting that too much playing and practicing would interfere with my lying around time. Then, I asked that you remember that I am in the twenty/twenty club, meaning that I am more than twenty years older and twenty pounds heavier than the golf gods intended a fifteen handicapper to be. Up to that point, everything I said was close to the truth. However, what follows is a bit closer, and like the recovering alcoholic, part of my recovery plan is to stand up in front of my peers and confess my short-comings. In 2009, I followed my own advice. I know how dumb that sounds, but it was not by plan but by circumstance. There are a dozen excuses I could use, but the bottom-line is that I haven’t played forty rounds this year, and worst of all, I may have been to the range twice. Not to worry, right?  I have a plan that includes seven handy golf tips from “A Guide to Baby Boomer Golf.” In case you have forgotten, here they are: Rule one: Spend ten minutes pitching and chipping before each round. Getting it close enough to one putt is always important, but it is critical for successful baby boomer golf. Rule two: Spend ten minutes putting before each round. Work on distance. Rarely do we misread the direction of a putt bad enough to cause a three putt. Rule three: If possible, hit a dozen sand shots before each round. If you can get it close coming out of the sand great, but the most important thing is to make sure you get it out of the sand. Rule four: Make every short iron count. Get the ball on the dance floor, hopefully in the general range of the flag. Rule five: Don’t turn a warm up into practice. It doesn’t work and you’ll end up worn out before you start the round. Rule six: Don’t spend too much time on the range pounding your driver before you play. You are not twenty years old.  For every 300-yard drive a baby boomer golfer hits, they’ll put five others in the rough, or even worse, out of bounds. Rule seven: Think about every shot. Playing smart is the one thing that baby boomers ought to be able to do. Frankly, these are seven pretty good rules, if I say so myself, and they just might help you keep your game together over a few weeks, but in the long-term nothing replaces playing and practicing. Slowly but surely my game has atrophied the same as you would expect an unused muscle to do, and God knows I have a lot of those. No doubt the better you are the longer it takes for the atrophy to take hold, but take hold it will. In my delusional state, I had imagined that I could spend ten minutes putting here and chipping there and somehow keep the wheels on a game that was already shaky. Using my seven magic tips I would kick sand in the face of Father Time, but that’s not what happened. I have gone from an average putter to a really bad putter. I have no touch, no feel, and no confidence.  My chipping is worse. If I’m not quitting on my down swing, I’m looking up so I can blade the ball across the green just for fun. I used to be a pretty good sand player; now I haven’t got a clue. As for as my short irons, when I’m not pulling I’m pushing and to make things worse I’m making all kinds of swing changes during the round. How dumb is that? I’m playing so bad that I actually quit during a round. When the going gets tough the tough gives notice. I remember hearing Darrell Royal comment after one of his star players, who had been unable to practice the week before a game, had fumbled three times during the game. He said simply, “If practice wasn’t important we wouldn’t do it.” I guess my seven rules could be helpful, but the truth is nothing replaces practice and playing and in that order. So, here my early resolutions for 2010; I resolve to practice at least once a week and play the same. I will also workout at least five days a week because it’s good for me and my game. Most importantly, I promise not to take my own advice when it comes to golf… and you should do the same.   Posted Oct 22 2009, 08:49 AM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, Baby-Boomer Golf, Confessions

• The Mickey Mouse Big Break

  It’s all together appropriate that this year’s Big Break is at Walt Disney World. Where else would you expect to find something this Goofy? I know that it’s reality TV, and in the end, it has more to do with watching a car wreck than playing golf. Still, I hate to see a freak show called golf. I also think it’s unfair that they don’t tell the contestants that there are no windowpanes to break on the PGA Tour, but that’s just me. I’m not saying it’s as bad as exploiting obesity, or so-called little people, but it’s not far behind. Jon and Kate where are you when we need you? This year’s lineup is as goofy as… Goofy. Starting with Andreas Huber former Wall Street broker and son of actress Susan Lucci. Wasn’t she the one who was nominated for an Emmy 100 years in a row and never won? It’s nice to have a son to carry on a tradition. Then there’s Andrew Giuliani son of Rudy Giuliani. That’s right that Rudy Giuliani. I’m not sure who his Mother is, but I assume that Rudy knows. This is already starting to feel like a rerun of Dancing With The Stars, or as I heard someone call it, Dancing With the Vaguely Familiar. We’re told that Blake Moore is this year’s bad boy with a temper. Suspended for a year by the golf coach at University of Colorado, we’re all supposed to be waiting for Blake to slam his driver into a tree, or perhaps another player. If I want to see poor sportsmanship I’ll play golf with my brother-in-law. How about Ed Moses an Olympic gold metal swimmer who’s still learning the game of golf. I haven’t seen Ed play, but when the press release has him listed as  “still learning” it’s hard to think of him as a real threat except around the water hazards. This year’s big hitters are played by Gipper Finau and Tony Finau a couple of not so famous long ball hitting brothers. In addition to being the long ball boys, they are apparently best dancers. The Polynesian two-some both claim a campy version of their native fire dance. Just shoot me. The guy watching the Polynesian dance team with a wary eye is J. R. Reyes, the tattooed golfer, who is waiting tables three days to make enough money for his entry fee at the PGA Q-school. I can hardly wait for him to be matched with Kevan Maxwell, the pizza delivery guy and a caddy at Kiawah Island. At least they’ll never go hungry. The second caddy on the show is Kevin Erdman, whose wife was a contestant on Big Break Ka’anapali. He is now her caddy on the Canadian Tour, which as a tour, is about the same as the club championship at one of your larger country clubs, only the food and prizes are better at the country club. I don’t understand why Mike Perez, the brother of PGA Tour winner Pat Perez, is on the show. Granted, it’s better than selling cars and playing on the mini tours, which is how he spent the last year. Since he knows exactly what it takes to get to the big times, I can only assume that show business is his life. The strangest contestant is Sean Kalin who was abducted by his mother and stepfather at the age of 10, which as far as I can tell has nothing to do with anything. Apparently, his kidnapping made him quit golf and become another bad boy who later turned good by having kids. Excuse me for being skeptical, but I have kids, and you can ask their parole officer, it hasn’t made me a better person. Last but not least is Vincent Johnson, the only black guy on the show. Vincent actually has some credentials and may be able to play, but the bottom line is that he hasn’t and odds are he won’t. There you have it, the good, the bad and the ugly in no particular order. And, don’t worry if you miss the first show, they’ll rerun it 400 times next week. Posted Oct 16 2009, 08:34 AM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, PGA Tour, Pat Perez, Vincent Johnson, Blake Moore, Kevan Maxwell, Mike Perez, Andrew Giuliani, Walt Disney World

• Snap Tiger With a Towel To Get This Thing Going, Choosing a Bunkmate At The Olympics, and Nooggies For My Friends; Somebody Has to Write About These Things

  Scatter shooting while wondering whatever happened to John Daly’s fitness coach. I’m trying to get interested in the Presidents Cup. It could be fun, especially if we get a little Michael Jordan-like trash talk going. Quick, somebody snap Tiger with a towel. Did you see the picture of assistant coach Michael Jordan giving President Clinton a nooggie? By the time you read this, the Olympic dudes will be close to deciding if golf will be in the 2016 Olympics Games. You know the one that Cathy Erickson won’t be attending in Chicago? Too bad because that would cool don’t you think?  If golf makes it to the Olympics, do you think they’ll ask Tiger to carry the flag in the opening ceremony, or will he make Steve Williams carry it for him? Better still, do you see Tiger and the guys bunking at the Olympic Village and eating in the cafeteria? On a related topic, did you see where the head of the USOC resigned after Chicago lost its bid to host the 2016 games? It’s the fifth CEO for the USOC in the last ten years. There’s no politics in sports, right? And, so much for the Obama magic, but I’m guessing he’s got more important things to think about. Rumor has it that the U.S. announced that it was starting an Olympic TV Network against the wish of the International Olympic Committee, which brings to mind the wise words of Casey Stengel who said, “The secret to managing is to keep the guys who hate you away from the guys that haven’t made up their minds.” Obviously a lesson lost on the USOC. Under the heading of sure you play in any weather, the third round of the Dunhill Links Championship was postponed after high winds forced organizers to call off play for the day. St Andrews, Carnoustie and Kingsbarns were all deemed unplayable because of strong winds, with gusts forecast to reach around 70 mph later in the day. What, is that a fourteen club wind? At that same Dunhill Links Championship, England's Simon Dyson rode the wind to a closing round of 66 to win the Championship by three shots. I mention this because our boy Simon Dyson was sporting an AxivCore shaft in his driver from our old friends at UST Mamiya. Way to go guys. If you’re a sports fan you’ve been seeing the pink shoes and ribbons worn by players to highlight National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Along those same lines, THE PLAYERS Championship will culminate "Giving Back Month" in November with "THE PLAYERS 5K with Donna," a run through the final nine holes of THE PLAYERS Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass. The run is a partnership with the 26.2 With Donna Foundation started by local Florida news anchor Donna Deegan, herself a three-time breast cancer survivor. Although the TV show was a great success for The Golf Channel, did anybody notice that Super Golf Coach Hank Haney failed to fix Charles Barkley’s swing? But not to worry because Hank is going to fail to fix Ray Romano’s swing this year. At some point you would think that Hank would consider if the Haney Project is good for his reputation. The word on the street is that the golf equipment business is so bad that next year’s prices are going to be dropping like a rock. With retail sales off something like 40%, it may be a great time to put the latest greatest in your bag. With the silly season less than a month away, and Tiger and the boys in San Fran eating prime rib every night, there are a lot of guys still out there trying to hold on to their playing privileges. Over the next few weeks we’ll be watching the drama unfold and find out who’s headed back to Q-School. Interestingly, Harrison Frazar who won last year's Q-School, highlighted by a fourth-round 59, was ranked 125 before last week's Turning Stone and a tie for seventh moved him to 107th with only a few weeks to go. I was thinking about going to Q-School this year, but since I can’t even win my Saturday foursome I’m having second thoughts.   Posted Oct 08 2009, 03:02 PM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, John Daly, Michael Jordan, Olympics, Dunhill Links Championship, Presidents Cup

• Golf is More Than Television History

  I found an article titled, “The greatest shots to have graced the majors” and I was surprised that I had seen most of the shots live, which tells me: (a) I’m really getting old, and (b) other than Gene Sarazen's “shot heard around the world,” our golf historian likely based most of this list on television images. I suppose that’s okay for chit-chat between the boys, but it is likely not very accurate. For example, I can’t imagine that Old Tom Morris and his crew didn’t bounce a few off a bottle of scotch for an eagle or two at the Open in 18 hundred and whatever. What about Bobby Jones? Arguably, one of the best golfers that ever lived; don’t you think Bobby hit a couple close? The same could be said for Ben Hogan, Sam Snead, Byron Nelson and a dozen more. The point is we all know that Tiger is great; as a matter of fact he’s the only one listed here with two of the greatest shots, but let’s not forget that greatness is not a new thing ask… Aristotle. Below are the greatest shots according to the Times Online (www.timesonline.co.uk , September 3, 2009). Acknowledging the flaws of this list, which one do you remember as the best? Gene Sarazen. The Masters, 1935. The so-called "shot they heard around the world." - A four-wood over water at the par-five 15th at Augusta National that found the hole 220 yards away for that rarest of golfing birds - an albatross two. With one blow Sarazen caught the leader, Craig Wood, and beat him in a play-off the following day to become the first man to win the "modern" grand slam of all four major championships. Padraig Harrington, Open Championship, 2008. Royal Birkdale - Standing in the middle of the fairway at the par-five 17th with a two-shot lead on the final day, Harrington threw caution to the wind with his second shot. With danger to the left and right of the green, the Irishman chose not to lay up with his approach shot but to go for the target with a five-wood. He hit a perfect shot, shaping it from left to right, and bringing the ball to within four feet of the hole, 272 yards away. He eagled the hole and went on to beat Ian Poulter by four shots. Severiano Ballesteros. Open Championship, 1988, Royal Lytham & St Annes - Leading Nick Price by one shot coming to the 72nd hole, Ballesteros, who had pulled his second shot wide of the green , had been put under pressure by his Zimbabwean playing partner, who was just 35 feet from the hole in two and thinking of a play-off, if not better. But this was a situation made for Ballesteros' wizardry. Pin high, but in a slight depression, the Spaniard lofted his ball deftly onto the green and watched, eyes ablaze, as it landed halfway to the hole and slowly crept closer, brushing the edge of the cup before settling a couple of inches away. Price missed his birdie putt and Seve had his third Open title. Sandy Lyle. The Masters, 1988 - Faced with a 150-yard uphill shot from a fairway bunker at the 72nd hole, Lyle hit a perfect 7-iron, landing the ball beyond the flag and sucking it back to within 18 feet of the hole. He sank the birdie putt and became the first Briton to claim the green jacket. "I don't know if there has ever been a better shot in a major," Lyle said. Larry Mize. The Masters, 1987 - In a play-off with Greg Norman, local boy Mize was not fancied to beat the Great White Shark. But he did just that by sinking a 45-yard chip shot at the 11th hole for a birdie that the Australian was unable to match. Needless to say, it was strictly a one-off moment for Mize and a dagger to the heart of Norman, who had been beaten in similar fashion at the US PGA Championship a year earlier, when Bob Tway holed out from a bunker for an unlikely victory. Arnold Palmer. US Open, 1960. Cherry Hills, Denver - Seven shots off the lead going into the final round, Palmer decided that attack was his only option and went for it from the off. In a fury after being told by the assembled press that he had no chance of winning, Palmer hitched up his trousers and let fly at the 1st - a 313-yard par four - watching as the ball flew about 300 yards, bounced hard in the rough and trickled onto the green. It led to the first of four straight birdies and helped to set up a stunning victory, by two shots, over a young amateur by the name of Jack Nicklaus. Jack Nicklaus. The Masters, 1986. - After trailing Severiano Ballesteros all day, the 46-year-old veteran started to reel in the Spaniard and took the lead for the first time with a birdie at the par-three 16th. Nicklaus' 5-iron shot landed above the hole rolled narrowly past and finished about three feet away, from where he sank the putt. The tee shot might not have been the greatest shot Nicklaus ever played, but in the context of his victory - his eighteenth and final major championship win - it was one of the most memorable. Tiger Woods. US Open, 2008. Torrey Pines - Needing to sink the trickiest of putts from around 15 feet to get into a play-off with Rocco Mediate, Woods did just that. He had played for four days virtually on one leg and refused to give up. Word has it that the putt was so tough that when one of the club's professionals went back a couple of days later to try to replicate it, he took around 15 attempts to achieve the feat. Needless to say, the world No.1 did not need a second chance. He beat Mediate in an 18-hole play-off to win his fourteenth major title. Shaun Micheel. US PGA Championship, 2003. Oak Hill - Leading Chad Campbell by one stroke playing the 72nd hole, Micheel hit the perfect 7-iron shot from out of the first cut of rough to within two inches of the hole, 175 yards away, for a birdie and victory by two. Karrie Webb. Kraft Nabisco Championship, 2006. Rancho Mirage - Seven strokes off the lead at the start of the final day, Webb holed out from 116 yards with a wedge for an eagle at the 72nd hole that put her into a play-off with Lorena Ochoa, of Mexico. The Australian claimed victory with a birdie at the first extra hole, her seventh win in a major championship. Tiger Woods. The Masters, 2005. - Who could forget Tiger's audacious chip shot at the 16th hole in the final round at Augusta National? Strictly speaking, this did not win Woods the Masters because he was taken into a play-off by Chris DiMarco (which, of course, he won). But to see him visualize the shot across the moonscape that is the 16th green, land the ball in the perfect place, watch it turn at right angles and head towards the hole before hovering on its edge, the Nike swoosh to the fore, is something never to be forgotten. And neither was his celebration.   Posted Oct 02 2009, 01:28 PM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, Tiger Woods, Padraig Harrington, Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Seve Ballesteros, Shaun Micheel, Gene Sarazen, Kerrie Webb, Larry Mize, Sandy Lyle