Tees2Greens on Golf

February 2010 - Posts

• It’s Hard To Know When To Put The Clubs In The Car

  I’m never excited when they tee it up at Kapalua in January. Granted, if I were lying on the beach in Hawaii I’d be a lot more excited. I’d also look like a glass of milk on the beach and NASA would be trying to figure out how to harness the power of the blinding sun reflecting off my white belly, but that’s another story. The truth is I’m selfish, and if I’m not lying on the beach I don’t really care if you are. So, week number two at Waialae Country Club doesn’t interest me much either. By the time the Tour reaches La Quinta, California and the sponsorless Bob Hope Classic, I should be interested, but it’s hard to get excited when the scores reach 30 under par or whatever it was. I don’t know why this tournament doesn’t interest me. Frankly, it never was a great event even when Bob Hope was alive, but at least he could pick up the phone and fill the roster with celebrities and keeping a sponsor was never a problem. I miss Bob Hope, but his tournament misses him more. The Farmers Insurance Open, or what used to be the Buick Open, was always Tiger’s first tournament and he owned Torrey Pines; great vistas, great golf and the promise of sunshine on the mainland. But alas, Buick has dumped Tiger and packed up its golf budget and gone home. Now, without the Buick sponsorship no one is really sure if Tiger will ever return to Torrey Pines and that’s too bad. Which begs the next question; will Farmers Insurance hang in there if Tiger doesn’t? I hate that I have to worry about these things, but if I don’t who will? In the words of Holden Caulfield, “When I really worry about something, I don't just fool around.  I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something.  Only, I don't go.  I'm too worried to go.  I don't want to interrupt my worrying to go.” Torrey Pines keeps me up at night. For some reason I only remember the 18th hole at Riviera Country Club and the Northern Trust Open. I assume that there are 17 other holes, but I’ll have to take your word on that. I feel the same way about the 17th at the TPC Sawgrass. Old timers at Riviera like to call the place Hogan’s Alley, but the folks at the Colonial in Fort Worth think they own that alley. I suspect if you asked the egomaniac Ben Hogan, which one was Hogan’s Alley he would have answered both. I like how 18 looks at Riviera and I like how so many times the winner needs a great shot on 18 to bring home the bacon. Remember Fred Couples shanking his second shot into the trees on 18 a couple of years ago? Riviera makes me want to clean my clubs. As much as Torrey Pines keeps me up at night, The AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am puts me to sleep. Bill Murray is funny, but not for hours on end. I’m glad that Dustin Johnson won, but I would have liked it more if Phil had won (sorry, I like my stars). I don’t like it when the weather turns bad at Pebble Beach. If I was interested in bad weather I’d move to Minnesota. I want blue skies, blue water, hot golf, and beautiful scenery. It’s not the Crosby and many of the Pros are not willing to put up with a six hour round without Bing. The golf is still great, but the atrophy of a once great tournament is hard to watch. Perhaps the U.S. Open in June will revive the players and my own interest in Pebble Beach. This past week the WGC Accenture Match Play Championship looked in the mirror and saw the enemy. The final round of a match play tournament with only two players makes golf look as exciting as knitting. Now, imagine that neither of those players speaks American, and are at best mid-range stars, and you have the exact scenario that helped make curling popular. The WGC Match Play Championship is a made for TV event, so hire the editor from Shell’s Wonderful World of Golf, pre-record it and cut out all of the waiting. Slow play is bad enough when you’re playing and it is really bad if you’re just watching. PS: I heard that they also played a tournament in Mexico last week. So, here we are at the Waste Management Phoenix Open at the TPC Scottsdale, in Scottsdale, Arizona. For nine weeks now I have taken my clubs in and out of my car. Winter has come and gone and come again in Dallas. There have been twenty or thirty cases of people getting their tongues stuck to their five-irons, but that didn’t scare me. I knew that Phoenix was close and the crazy fans were waiting to cut loose. I’ve asked this question before and I’ll admit that I don’t know the answer. Is Phoenix the future of golf and is that bad or good? There are people who love the noise and just as many who think that it’s despicable. Ben Hogan wouldn’t play there, but he’s not playing anywhere these days. I suppose it’s like a lot of things, meaning that nothing bothers you when you’re winning. With the cheers of the crazies still ringing in my ears, I’ve put the clubs back in the car. I’m scheduled to play in a tournament in two weeks, but if it doesn’t warm up here I may have to go cold shaft with nary a warm-up, and that’s not good news for anyone within shank range. The Tour is moving to Florida next week and the Masters is only seven weeks away, but who’s counting. So, take the clubs out of the garage, buy a new glove, and put away your non-conforming wedges (sure). It’s time to practice and play. Posted Feb 25 2010, 06:56 AM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, Waste Management Phoenix Open, WGC Accenture Match Play Championship, Northern Trust Open, Bob Hope Classic, Farmers Insurance Open

• The Fault, Dear Tiger, Is Not In Our Stars

  The last thing I wanted to do this week was write about Tiger, but with Steve Stricker eliminated on day one of the World Golf Championship-Accenture Match Play Championship, it was Tiger or curling. By the way, what is curling, shuffleboard without beer and a jukebox? As I write this more than 24 hours before Tiger is scheduled to speak to the press, I can’t help thinking that nothing has changed. Tiger is still trying to control everything, that’s why there will be no questions allowed.  I expect repentance, contrition, remorse, regret, sorrow as well as penitence packaged neatly into his apology. Make no mistake it will be choreographed better than Dancing With The Stars. I do not expect to see his wife standing by his side, frankly that would be too much to ask, and besides Tiger still flinches when he sees her making a sudden movement out of the corner of his eye. I do expect the first tear at exactly two-minutes into his prepared statement. I also expect a dramatic pause to collect himself before continuing, and then more tears. In the end he will tell everyone that, with God’s help and the help of his family he will put all of this in his rearview mirror and therefore he will not talk about any of this in the future. He will say something like, the only thing I can do is ask forgiveness and play golf and that’s what I’m going to do. Then he will wipe the last tear from his face and magically look like the Tiger of old. At this moment the TV cameras will slowly pan the carefully chosen audience for an understanding smile or two being careful to avoid Commissioner Tim who always looks constipated, but that’s another story. That’s it. At least that’s what Tiger and his people hope, but hope springs eternal and in my opinion we’re a long way from “that’s it” time. I say this not because I don’t believe that fans will forgive Tiger. Frankly, Tiger could show up wearing his green jacket and no pants and they would forgive him. Hootie Johnson wouldn’t forgive him, but the fans would. And this is not about whether or not I believe Tigers’ repentance, contrition, remorse, regret, sorrow and penitence packaged neatly into his apology, which I don’t. Do I believe that he’s sorry he got caught, so were Bill Clinton and John Edwards… but I digress. The reason that this is not “it” for Tiger is because what I like to call the Mike Tyson moment. If you will recall, before Mike Tyson was knocked out by Buster Douglas he was considered unbeatable. However, once that aura of invincibility ended, Mike Tyson’s end was not far behind. Remember, Tyson’s the guy that paid to have the New York Zoo open for a private viewing and said, "When we got to the gorilla cage there was a big silverback gorilla there just bullying all the other gorillas. They were so powerful but their eyes were like an innocent infant’s. I offered the attendant $10,000 to open the cage and let me smash that silverback's snotbox! He declined."… but that’s another story, as well. When all is said and done, Tiger will not miss the millions in endorsements he has lost, but what he will miss is his aura of invincibility. He is no longer the 500-pound gorilla. He will win again, but he will never achieve the greatness he believed his stars foretold. "The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves." Tiger Woods will never again receive the respect he once received no matter how many millions he makes in the future, nor will anyone on either side of the ropes ever fear him again. That’s the price of losing your aura of invincibility.   Posted Feb 18 2010, 02:19 PM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, Tiger Woods, Mike Tyson, Buster Douglas

• If You Don’t Like Pebble Beach You Don’t Like Golf

  AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am is one of golf’s great events.  Pros and amateurs alike compete on three of the most beautiful golf courses in the world: Spyglass Hill, Monterey Peninsula Country Club, which replaces Poppy Hills, and of course Pebble Beach. These should be on everyone’s list of places to play before you die. It was originally known as Bing Crosby’s clambake, or simply The Crosby, and an invitation to Bing’s party was on everybody’s wish list. From its earliest days in 1947, the tournament has been known for three things: great golf, celebrities, and unpredictable weather. The rain and winds that often visit the tournament are as much a part of the championship's character as the competition they often interrupt. However, no one expected the cause of the final round's delay in 1962: Snow. It was the first time in 40 years it had snowed on the Monterey Peninsula, prompting golf pro Jimmy Demerit to make the famous remark, "I know I got loaded last night, but how did I end up in Squaw Valley?” Some of the more memorable happenings at the tournament include Sam Snead’s request for a new partner when Roger Kelly, an amateur and terrible drinker, got sick in the bushes beside the 1st tee. Snead demanded, but was denied, a new partner. The Snead-Kelly team went on to win the Pro-Am, then paired up for many years to come. In 1951 Phil Harris, a longtime bandleader and Crosby crony, curled in a 90-foot putt on 17 to capture the Pro-Am title with partner Dutch Harrison. Never at a loss for words, the hard-partying Harris said, “Ain’t this a heckuva blow to clean living?” Ben Hogan spent his last Crosby in 1956 paired with the Bing himself. The weather for Sunday’s finale was God awful, so Crosby invited Hogan to his house on 13 to warm up. The Hawk declined, completing the round with an 81. The very next year, “Champagne” Tony Lema lost his footing on the cliff on 9 and fell eighteen feet to the sand below, acquiring several bruises and contusions. Thank God it was before YouTube or you would still be watching the video. In 1977 Bing Crosby died the way every golfer should.  On the afternoon of October 14, Bing was playing at the La Morajela golf course near Madrid, Spain.  He finished 18 holes with a score of 85, and with a partner, defeated two Spanish golf pros. After his last putt, Bing bowed to applause and said, "It was a great game." He was about 20 yards from the clubhouse when he collapsed from a massive heart attack. He was 74. After Bing’s death the Crosby family had an unfortunate falling-out with the Monterey Peninsula Association, the organization that actually owns the tournament, about the use of Bing’s name, or more accurately about the money for the use of Bing’s name, and from that time forward the tournament has been known as the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am. Sorry, Bing. It may come as a surprise to you, but Pebble Beach is only 6,737 yards from the Championship tees.  Par is 72 with a course rating of 74.4 and a slope of 142. The U.S. Open Championship has been played at Pebble Beach four times, most recently in the year 2000 for its 100th tournament. "The U.S. Open at Pebble Beach is always memorable," said the United States Golf Association's Craig Smith. "There are always tremendous finishing holes that add incredible drama. There's just a sense that you're seeing something great." As for Official World Golf Rankings, Phil Mickelson, Jim Furyk and Padraig Harrington represent the top-ten. In addition, there are seventeen major winners, six past champions, and a slew of international players. As for celebrities, Bill Murray and Ray Romano are the headliners along with Tom Brady, Don Cheadle, Andy Garcia, Vince Gill, Huey Lewis, George Lopez and Tony Romo. There are also a lot of corporate bigwigs, but who’s counting. I’ll admit that I suffer from the good old days syndrome. I miss Bing Crosby, Dean Martin, Phil Harris and Jack Lemmon. I also miss the party atmosphere and the funny stories it produced. It helps me remember that golf is a game and games are supposed to be fun. Laughing is good for the soul and your golf game. Stop and smell the perennial ryegrass in fairways at the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am because the world just might not be there when you plan to return. Posted Feb 11 2010, 08:37 AM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 1 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, Phil Mickelson, Pebble Beach, AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am, Jack Lemmon, Roger Kelly, Phil Harris, clambake, Sam Snead, Bing Crosby, Dutch Harrison, Tony Lema, Monterey Peninsula Association

• Don’t Cry For John Daly Just Yet

  1991 was the beginning of the rollercoaster ride. John Daly, the chain-smoking, hard drinking kid from Arkansas had just escaped from the obscurity of being the ninth alternate to win the PGA Championship at Crooked Stick. Life was good and the rollercoaster was just starting up the first hill. He was Cinderella in spikes, an overnight success with a bowl haircut. The crowds loved him because they shared the same mantra: hit it harder. Sponsors also loved him and lined up at his door begging him to take their millions and millions of dollars. Still climbing that first hill he took the money and never looked back, or forward for that matter. Soon after his rollercoaster topped that first hill came the wives, the booze and the gambling, and for a while it appeared that he might be that ever-popular one trick pony, but youth was on his side. He seemed strong enough and talented enough to survive more bad decisions than Robert Downey, Jr., and he was, for a while. Then, with every reason to fail, somehow, some way John Daly won the 1995 British Open; and the rollercoaster approached the second hill. We never doubted you big John, here’s another million, a new wife, and a free room at any hotel in Las Vegas where they never say no. From that point on there have been a few more wins and several more hills on his rollercoaster ride, each one smaller that the preceding one, but that’s the way rollercoasters work. The crowds still came, some for the thrill of seeing someone like John hit the ball nine miles, but others came to see the car wreck called John Daly. His weight flucuated wildly as did his drinking, gambling and marital life. One ex-wife even went to jail, if I recall correctly. John’s last win was 2004 Buick Open six years ago. Since then he’s lost his card, his money and the youth that he rode so hard. In 2009, John spent much of his time in Europe where he played in 10 events and actually finished tied for second at the BMW Italian Open. In the words of Toby Keith, “I’m not as good as I once was, but I’m as good one time as I ever was,” or something like that. In the middle of all this, he’s gone under the knife for lap-band surgery and dropped a hundred pounds, which is a lot easier than going on a diet and going to the gym, but I digress. In 2010 John Daly is living on sponsor money (yes there are still a few hanging around) and sponsor exemptions. He hasn’t made a cut this year, and frankly he might have a hard time beating your club champion, but he still draws a crowd because he’s famous. After a particularly poor outing last week John announced, "I'm done.” Egged on by a Golf Channel producer asking with what, John responded “With golf. I just can't do it anymore," Daly went on. "I'm tired of embarrassing myself." However, by late Friday Daly was twittering, "I never said retirement.” By Saturday afternoon, his agent confirmed that Daly isn't retiring. Very Favre-ish. One of the saddest sights in sports is an athlete who doesn’t know when to retire. Even sadder is when an athlete like John Daly knows when to retire but can’t because he believed that the money was never going to end and now he owes everyone in town. Sadly John Daly’s rollercoaster ride is almost over. The hills ahead are not big enough to raise your hands for, it’s simply time to hold on to the bar so you don’t fall out. But don’t feel sorry for John Daly, he had his time in the sun, and even though you and I may think he blew it, the truth is we don’t know if he did or not. I saw a story some years ago about a Brinks armored car driver who absconded with something like 5 million dollars. They found him eleven months later totally broke. When asked what he did with the money he smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen and said, “I spent it.” I always wondered if he played golf?   Posted Feb 04 2010, 02:27 PM by Sam 'Bogey' Johnson with 2 comment(s) Filed under: Sam Johnson, John Daly