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Golf Jokes


Last post 12-03-2008 1:22 PM by 2puttbird. 81 replies.
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  • 07-03-2008 3:30 PM In reply to

    • The Quiet
    • Top 100 Contributor
      Male
    • Joined on 07-03-2008
    • Reno
    • Posts 3
    • Points 31

    Re: Golf Jokes

     

    I'm with you on this one Nevada Wolf. The PGA isn't the same right now without a character like Tiger Woods. I do however think Stewart Cink will have the best chance of winning now that Tiger is out. I look forward to next years tour where the Tiger tour should be in "Full Swing". From your neighbor with the dogs.
    • Post Points: 21
  • 07-06-2008 6:10 AM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    Yes, "Quite", if, and I do mean, "IF" TW can continue the tour "with two good legs"

    and his entire body, in GOOD SHAPE, the golf world will see, I am sure, better

    golf, with even more attendance, wherever TW plays, and more money being offered, for each tournament, lucky enough to be listed on the PGA's busy schedule!  I am REALLY LOOKING

    FORWARD TO IT!

    Nevada Wolf
    • Post Points: 21
  • 07-21-2008 10:37 AM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    I dont know if anyone has been watching this show, but it one of my favorites on TV right now!

    Last Comic Standing on NBC Thursday nights...it is greatness!

    And we have one gal remaining that is from my home town of Dallas, Texas!

    ILIZA SHLESINGER!! She is awesome...try to tune in and give her some Tees2Greens votes to keep her going!!

    http://www.nbc.com/Last_Comic_Standing/finalists/iliza-shlesinger.shtml

    http://www.nbc.com/Last_Comic_Standing/video/#mea=273717

    If you have not had enough giggles from the T2G golf jokes then please check her out!

    • Post Points: 21
  • 07-22-2008 10:14 AM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    Addict! I love that show as well and Iliza Shlesinger is DA BOMB!

    She is smokin hot and super funny, thanks for bringing this up! She has my vote for sure!

    Check it!! WOW!

    • Post Points: 21
  • 07-22-2008 11:40 AM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    Hold the phones!! OK, last comic standing on Thursday night?

    I am there!

    I just saw some of her stand up, she is very hot, but man she is really really funny. Where has the gal been hiding?

    It looks like there is a huge future for her real soon!!

    She will get my vote if she performs the same in her last two stage appearances.

    It also sounds like from the web site that none of the guys want to challange her...this should be good stuff.

    I guees since there is no good golf on I will be sure to give this a looksie!!

    Thanks Addict!

     

    • Post Points: 21
  • 07-22-2008 11:50 AM In reply to

    • GolfSux
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2008
    • Posts 9
    • Points 173

    Re: Golf Jokes

    Finally someone has posted something of substance on this web site! Party!!!

    I watch this show every week and yeah this gal looks good, but dont that fool you. She is tough as nails and a riot!

    The guys have alot work to knock her off, plus the votes the crowds have been giving her are huge.

    Addict, you put this up? Well, you finally have given me something to cheer about on this site.

    GolfSUX

     

    • Post Points: 21
  • 07-28-2008 12:14 PM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    She was awesome again last week...I hope everyone voted for her. She is by far the best so far!!

     

    • Post Points: 5
  • 08-04-2008 2:42 PM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    Did everyone see that Dallas gal Iliza Shlesinger made the finals!! Top five out of 10's of thousands of comics! Very impressive!

    Watch this week on Thursday on NBC maybe she can pull off the win!!

    How could you not watch this gal? Indifferent

    • Post Points: 21
  • 08-08-2008 9:33 AM In reply to

    • GolfSux
    • Top 50 Contributor
    • Joined on 05-22-2008
    • Posts 9
    • Points 173

    Re: Golf Jokes

    Wow, she really won that show. The Last Comic Standing.

    She is totally hot and had my sides busting!

    So whats next for her anyone know?

    • Post Points: 21
  • 08-08-2008 9:44 AM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    This girl is on her way!  Hot talent!!

    Oh and Golf Sux she won 250K, a talent deal with NBC, a new honda and headlines in Vegas. Not bad, but I am sure we will see her in movies! An you know that some hollywood douche bag like Matt Mcconaughey will probly start dating her, Damn I hope not.

    • Post Points: 21
  • 09-12-2008 8:34 AM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    A married man spent the weekend playing golf and partying with the boys. When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it.

    After a few of hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer. 'How would you like it if you
    didn't see me for a couple of days?'.....

    The husband couldn't believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said, 'That would suit me just fine!!'

    Monday went by, and the man didn't see his wife.

    Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see her.

    Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little out of the corner of his left eye.

    • Post Points: 21
  • 09-16-2008 10:35 AM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    THIS made me laugh!  Thanks for sharing.

    "The purpose of life is to serve and to show compassion and the will to help others. Only then have we ourselves become true human beings." ~ Albert Schweitzer
    • Post Points: 5
  • 09-16-2008 11:50 AM In reply to

    • 2puttbird
    • Top 25 Contributor
      Male
    • Joined on 03-01-2008
    • Missouri
    • Posts 103
    • Points 1,739
    • Blogger - Golf Equipment Reviews
      Member of the Month Winner

    Re: Golf Jokes

    I bumped into some golf buddies this past weekend and they asked if I'd like to play in a tournament with them next week.

    But I've been so busy this summer with work and owning two houses (trying to sell one) that I had to decline.

    My friends were very persistent ... "but it's for crippled and blind children!", they said ...

    And I got to thinking ... hey, I could actually win this thing!

    If you're not having fun, lower your standards.
    • Post Points: 21
  • 10-01-2008 2:07 PM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes - Hybrids

    Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls..........


    A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year.


    Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol
    a year.

    That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon.


    Kind of makes you proud. Almost feel like a hybrid!!

    Filed under:
    • Post Points: 21
  • 10-01-2008 3:43 PM In reply to

    Re: Golf Jokes

    Another good one!

     

    Bill stood over his tee shot on the 350 yard 18th hole for what seemed an eternity.

    He waggled, looked up, looked down, waggled again,but still didn't start his back swing.

    Finally his exasperated partner Fred asked,

    "What in the world is taking so long?"

     Jim explained

    "My wife is watching me from the clubhouse balcony,"I want to make a perfect shot"

    To which Fred replied,

    "You don't have a chance in hell of hitting her from here"

    Filed under:
    • Post Points: 5
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